Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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