I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
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My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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