I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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