is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
