he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't turn off my feet"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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