I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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