i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
