I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the day after is always just damage control
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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