Duck Duck Cougar?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He did a backflip because drugs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
