All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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