babies were throwing up all over the place
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize