I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.