Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning