using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.