mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention