I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!