I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?