My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
