The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The adults are the big ones right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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