If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize