i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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