in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
