You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
