So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
