NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
is that a dick in a sweater?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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