Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Floor bacon is actually really good
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
