Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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