I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
