Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
