Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
