p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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