She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize