RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
