Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
