some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
