I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
