Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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