I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Every concussion has its silver lining
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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