dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
