Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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