just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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