walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm both gender and math confused
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
