literally had 100 drinks last night.
vagina is talking i cant
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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