Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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