this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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