Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize