his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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