i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize