Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
