Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
