But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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