No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
