Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize