Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize