My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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