I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize