stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize