omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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