i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
