Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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