you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
