Please, let me fuck your mom
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
