Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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