All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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